Superhero Vigilantes

I am astounded that, given the proliferance of nutcases on the planet, coupled with the long history of comic books and CGI-laden blockbusters, you don't see more "Superhero Vigilantes" in the news. And drugs.

These would be people who believe that if Batman can do it just because he had a rough childhood, then so can they.

Now I'm not suggesting that people go throwing themselves into large vats of goo in order to see what super powers they emerge with but surely there are enough weekend warriors who've completed their first month of Karate school that we'd see some of them having a go:

News Anchor: Reports are coming in...wait...yes...a gang of bank robbers, calling themselves the "Soiled Several" have been stopped during a daring raid at the Metropolis-On-Sea bank by a mysterious masked figure. Witnesses say that the man asked all the members of the gang to line up and then "come at me like this, one at a time".

There are so many benefits to being a Super Hero that I don't understand why it isn't taught in Universities:

• Girls. You get loads of girls. Everyone loves a hero, right? Except villains. Mostly.
• If you can fly you get to eat ANYWHERE in the world. Some places can be really cheap. If you can't fly but can run fast then...bingo! Same deal! Maybe some sort of "super sucking" would get some food too but it may be a bit more random what you end up sucking.
• You never have to waste time buying gifts for your family because you've only got one Aunt.
• Having one suit under your clothes all the time reduces the amout of laundry you need to do. Try to make the smell part of your powers.
• Sex is probably amazing. This is not a comment on Super Heroes or anything...I'm just saying...it's probably amazing in general.

So COME ON WORLD! Get off your super-arses and let's go get some bad guys! Obviously this works if you want to be a villain too. I haven't really thought it through.